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Knowing and Realizing that
Failure does Exist
In an earlier column (Mental Game Part 2) we mentioned the "ingredients"
that are necessary for a strong Mental Game. One of those ingredients
is: Self Confidence.
We watch the star athlete calmly make the final shot, score the
winning goal, or lead his team for a touchdown in the final minute
of the game. We marvel at their talent and their determination,
but what we really value and most likely secretly admire most is
the supreme confidence they display - they know they will succeed.
Confidence is an attribute that is alluring, attractive, valuable,
desirable and contagious. Most everyone aspires to greater levels
of it, even if they feel confident most of the time. It is a trait
that will help us create greater results for ourselves and when
leading others. Any trait with this much benefit is one worth developing.
And yes, you can develop and strengthen your confidence.
Consider these five steps as the building blocks for greater confidence
in any part of your life.
1. Remind yourself of past successes.
Confidence builds on past success. Since you have had success before,
you can (and will) have it again. We strengthen our confidence in
any activity when we review or remind ourselves of past successes.
If you are trying to build confidence in a new area, past success
can still help us strengthen our confidence. For example, if you
have had success in doing something new in the past, review those
experiences when trying something else new - even if it is in an
entirely different part of your life.
2. Read and listen to positive materials.
Fill your mind with positive and affirming words, ideas and stories.
Read things that enhances your skills or knowledge in the area in
which you want to build your confidence. Read materials that are
generally uplifting and affirming, and read biographies of successful
people. You will find that many of them had troubles in life, came
from tough situations and still succeeded. If you have ever thought:
"Well, if they can do it, I could too." Then you realize that we
can build our confidence by reading stories about others. Reading
and listening to positive materials is about reinforcement, encouragement,
and learning. All three of these components are needed for greater
confidence.
3. See your future success.
Olympic athletes, corporate executives, and successful people in
all sorts of endeavors visualize future success. Confidence will
grow when we see ourselves succeeding. Think about it, if you know
you will succeed, your confidence will soar, right? Visualizing
future success does that very thing for us. Our minds cannot tell
the difference between something real and something vividly imagined.
So vividly visualize your success. What will it look like, smell
like, and taste like to have succeeded? Who will be with you, what
will you be hearing and where will you be? How will you be feeling
at that moment? Putting this much detail into your vivid picture
improves the likelihood of success, and supports greater confidence!
4. Reframe failure.
Thomas Edison spent a long time trying to create an incandescent
light bulb - to create light from electricity. He is attributed
with saying, "I have not failed, and I have discovered twelve hundred
materials that don't work." 1,200! Perhaps you feel you can reframe
your failures as learning experiences - as a chance to find out
what doesn't work. But would you be able to do so 1,200 times? Know
that failures will occur - and your confidence won't be as shaken
when they come. Use the failures as an opportunity to learn. Realize
that every failure puts you that much closer to success. When we
reframe our failure as a learning experience we reduce our fear
and increase our confidence.
5. Take confident action.
You wanted confidence to help you try and succeed in new ways, right?
So get out there and get at it! You have to put your confidence
to the test. You have to practice. And, while you are taking action,
make it confident action! Remember that if you act confident, you
will be more confident. Review the other steps you have been taking
to build your confidence. If you are driving towards your new action
step, remind yourself of past successes, again. Visualize the successful
outcome, again. Build your confidence at every step of the way,
but remember it all must lead to action.
These steps are a regimen for strengthening and building your confidence
in any life situation. Use these steps and I am confident, YOU will
be more confident. |
